PARAPROSDOKIANS: (Winston Churchill loved them.)
Here is the definition:
“Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation.”
“Where there’s a will, I want to be in it,” is a type of paraprosdokian.
1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list.
3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear brightuntil you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right – only who is left..
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good Evening,’ and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a trainstops. On my desk, I have a work station.
11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, ‘In case of emergency, notify:’ I put ‘DOCTOR.’
13. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list.
3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear brightuntil you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right – only who is left..
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good Evening,’ and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a trainstops. On my desk, I have a work station.
11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, ‘In case of emergency, notify:’ I put ‘DOCTOR.’
13. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the streetwith a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of asuccessful man is usually the OTHER woman.
16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
18. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
19. There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.
20. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.
21. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hitthe target.
23. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
25. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
26. Where there’s a will, there’s relatives.
Even if the tape hadn’t been stuck to the door and cut, I wouldn’t have had the desire and patience to manually unwind that tape. I’ll just buy another one.
I do recall my older brother mentioning back in the 70s having actually engaged in fixing several 8-Track Tapes that were too tight … by opening them up and totally unwinding all the tape off and then rewinding it back up. [img]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/–9ySJk6JJp4/UnwD_qo6riI/AAAAAAAAALQ/8d7UDDjwSSw/s1600/Insane.gif[/img] [img]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-T6Cx1TF5_Ks/UnwHgBk8AgI/AAAAAAAAAL0/WdJ-lO1Jbis/s1600/Knockout.gif[/img]
I never engaged in that. I did though on some very rare occasions repair a cassette tape here and there by splicing a broken / damaged section that had been eaten by the Player. I believe I had a little repair kit that I got at RadioShack.
Anyway, I bought some more tapes on Friday. My parents and I were going to be getting together over at my oldest sister’s house for Pizza. Before the Pizza wolfing down, my sister wanted to go to that thrift store. So, she had suggested beforehand that we each bring a bag of something to donate so that we could each get a 20% Off coupon.
I quickly scrounged up 4 shirts that I wouldn’t be wearing anymore and stuck them in a Walmart bag and headed over to my sister’s house. We all then went to the thrift store. I bought me a practically brand new belt and 8 more VHS Tapes:
A Few Good Men … Terminator 2: Judgment Day … Speed
Return of the Dragon … Sleeping with the Enemy … Tremors
Unfaithful … Above the Law
That last one actually turned out to be brand spanking new … still sealed in the original plastic. Who knows why it was never even opened. Maybe someone got it as a gift and they weren’t a Steven Seagal Fan. I guess to a certain extent, getting that brand new tape for 80ยข made up for the tape that was stuck.
We never get deals like that around here.
You should check out Walmart. They have DVDs of the older movies for $3.00. At least they do here.
Yep, they had [b]Office Space[/b] for $3.00. I went, “Ooooooo! Annette would love that one.” [img]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-tTXhJObHX64/UnwC8_hWNKI/AAAAAAAAAKw/sfNnP8SrRsY/s1600/Headbang.gif[/img]
Remember that Happy Birthday Cake Rain Check that I mentioned that one of my nieces had given me? She had told me that on her day off, she’d bake me a cake. Well, it’s now a month later and my promised Happy Birthday Cake is still missing in action. [img]http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PB6QwiXrMd4/Unv85SwO9VI/AAAAAAAAAIQ/icN_7JOG6h8/s1600/Confused.gif[/img]
And actually, I ran across my niece last weekend at a birthday party. At the end when we were leaving, I sneaked in a subtle, “Sooo, is my birthday cake almost ready?” She replied, “Yessssss!” I added, “I wasn’t sure whether I had imagined it or what.” She went, “No, it was real. I did say it.” But, she didn’t add any remote detail as to just exactly WHEN I’d get to cash the Rain Check. [img]http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2V7xuwJLXKM/Unumax9VYGI/AAAAAAAAAD8/tnuBof7kFrU/s1600/Got_Me.gif[/img] It is now a week later.
Who knows? Maybe she’s planning on catching me off guard and scaring the beegeezes out of me and embarrass me with a belated Surprise Birthday Party mixed into the Pool Party that they’re planning on having soon. They’re having a Swimming Pool built and it’s just about finished. She seemed to imply they’d be having that party shortly after it’s finished. Of course, it did make me wonder, “A Pool Party here soon? Uhhh, it’s MARCH.” [img]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/–9ySJk6JJp4/UnwD_qo6riI/AAAAAAAAALQ/8d7UDDjwSSw/s1600/Insane.gif[/img]
Our Walmart has a bin or two of older DVD’s for $5 each. These bins are approximately 4′ long x 4′ wide x 2′ deep. The DVD’s are just thrown in there. Unless I happen to see something interesting on top as I pass by, I don’t get any. Since I’m not much of a shopper, I don’t usually have the time or patience to look through the mess in the bin.
I know what you mean, thinking about a Pool Party NOW makes me shiver too. It looks like it will be late August before we thaw out. I’m SO sick of this cold wet weather!
Hopefully, you will get your Birthday Cake before Pool Party Time. [img]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-k6x9i3mfA7Y/UnwQXuetp0I/AAAAAAAAAPs/97n1LXEt8NA/s1600/ThumbsUp.gif[/img]
Ahhh yes, the bargain bins. I’ve seen those before as well. But, those $3.00 tapes were on organized racks. Then to the right were some slightly newer ones for $5.00. Then to the right of those, I believe some $9.00 ones. THEN the full-priced ones.
I can’t remember if I had mentioned it, but I wound up bringing my Dallas Cowboys blanket back out and slapping it on my bed again. I guess I prematurely declared Winter over.
I saw your mention of the Dallas Cowboys blanket somewhere. It WILL be wonderful when we can officially declare Winter over! [img]http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-5snx3wPB-y8/Unv_2gV4QVI/AAAAAAAAAJQ/9AlVnrrqixc/s1600/Dance1.gif[/img]
Awww MAN! 3 days late, but if I recall correctly, it was your birthday on April 2nd, wasn’t it, Annette?
[b]Happy Birthday![/b]
How did it go?
That said … heyyy, Annette, do you know the number of a Moving company?
Oh no, WAIT! Not THAT kind of moving. I’m talking Blogging Community moving.
As much as this place SEEMINGLY had promise in the beginning, we’re coming up on the 4-month mark soon and the unfortunate reality is that for all practical purposes, there just hasn’t been ANY progress on fixing any problems … especially the 2 glaring main ones. Status quo has just about gotten fossilized now.
This complete lack of progress is very disappointing, very disillusioning. It is just killing it for me.
It’s pretty much close to impossible now to get in a cheerful, FUN mood here.
I find myself watching repeats of the same VHS tapes over and over instead of hanging out here.
There just doesn’t seem to be a sign that there is a light at the end of the tunnel within light years. [img]http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-T2iKvtO2Fj8/UnwNd9nIG5I/AAAAAAAAAOM/11R17dW55L4/s1600/Sad.gif[/img]
Thank you for the birthday wishes. I had a very nice day.
I find myself watching more tv and Netflix instead of hanging out here. I am also ready to move on. A quick Google search provided these results.
[b]Top 9 Blogging Communities[/b]
http://www.addictedme.com/top-blogging-communities/
http://mashable.com/2007/09/27/online-communities/
Oooooooo Hey! I guess we have homework to do, huh?
Got a lot of checking out to do.
I’ll be going over to my youngest sister’s house in just a bit to use her High Speed Internet. I’ll be over there for most of the afternoon. I’ll see you over at BlogSpot either this evening or tomorrow, Annette.
Let me know if you think we should try any of them. And, take a look at wordpress. I think it is dialup friendly.
OMG, even with my high speed internet, I am stuck in a loop trying to create a wordpress blog. Is this the site you also had problems with a few months ago?
No, Annette, it wasn’t WordPress with which I had problems. I have yet to try WordPress.
It was tumblr with which I had problems even opening an account last year after we got the MyOpera Shutdown news. After several attempts, I managed to be able to join … for several seconds. Then BAMM! I was informed that my account had been terminated. [img]http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-zi1G0ykmKw4/UnwAi0MmopI/AAAAAAAAAJo/FjEBFgrsNA8/s1600/Doh.gif[/img]
But, now last week I finally managed to be able to open a tumblr account. But, Ehhh, I don’t think tumblr will be the answer. For starters, it’s not exactly Dial Up friendly. Then for a while I was confused as to what was what and how to do things.
Then I finally saw how to supposedly customize the Blog. I drooled. [img]http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Gsds2RhmxlI/UnwAv2rR5RI/AAAAAAAAAJw/D9bWia26T38/s1600/Drool.gif[/img] I was, “NOW we’re getting somewhere!” But, my excitement was short-lived. To the best of my understanding, on the tumblr platform, Blogs are customized via HTML Code … NOT via CSS Code. WTF? I even did some Googling to confirm this. It appeared to be the case. And the examples of the general Code layout just disillusioned me. I’d have to start from scratch. I wouldn’t be able to use my MyOpera CSS Code knowledge.
I don’t know. I may or may not go take another look around there in tumblr. Maybe things will click better the 2nd time around.
Like I am reminded of way back before I knew anything about PowerPoint. I one day decided to experiment with it see just exactly WTF it was for and what I could do with it. Well, on my 1st go around, it thoroughly kicked my butt and I accomplished absolute SQUAT after messing with it for 2 hours or so. Well, all disappointed, disillusioned and borderline unhinged, I took a break for a couple of hours. When I came back, I did some quick Googling and after skimming over a PowerPoint tutorial for a couple of minutes, BAMM! Things clicked into place and I quickly got the hang of PowerPoint.
So who knows? Maybe that’ll happen with tumblr … IF I decide to go give it another chance.
As to WordPress? Well, there the last time I heard from Teresa, she had given me the link to the Blog of some person whom she said used Dial Up … and was presumably operating OK on WordPress.
I’m really REALLY doing my best to avoid trying out WordPress. But, with now a 2nd Vivaldi Update having crashed & burned and the skies completely DARK with thick clouds and no remote chance of sunshine on the progress horizon, I just might have to reluctantly go take a foray into WordPress. [img]http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-GPOI6rKhoLk/UnwOWNZf9XI/AAAAAAAAAOs/ZuCdtD01ZdM/s1600/Scared.gif[/img]
Anyway, I might take another look later today or tomorrow at some of those Blogging Communities in those links you gave me recently. Who knows? Maybe we’ll find the Golden Needle in the haystack. [img]http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2V7xuwJLXKM/Unumax9VYGI/AAAAAAAAAD8/tnuBof7kFrU/s1600/Got_Me.gif[/img]
I been reading this wordpress blog, http://truestoriesofamidwestyankee.wordpress.com/ and she uses dialup. I am pretty sure the free version of wordpress only allows you to customize the header. I haven’t looked around at other blogs because this one has no Friends Links. I like that. I’ve been getting friend requests from people because they see me on blogs they’ve visited. They’ve never visited my blog…or made a comment, but they’re collecting Friends!
I’ve been spending some time on FB while they work things out here. I may also give BlogSpot another whirl if I see it’s going to be a while before they make some progress here.
Hah Hah Hah! I guess it was YOU and not Teresa who gave me that link to the Blog of that woman who uses Dial Up. As Vinnie Barbarino used to say on Welcome Back Kotter, “I’m so confused!” [img]http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-UHr8vgT-DGE/UnwJpxK-XgI/AAAAAAAAANE/Spu8pxICIUo/s1600/Perplexed.gif[/img] [img]http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-kfPjoQLl6WE/Unv6qVe4sEI/AAAAAAAAAHQ/dLXguuxobGA/s1600/BigGrin2.gif[/img]
Well, the Easter family get together activity set me back on my plan of supposedly checking out those Blogging Communities. It’s now almost Pizza time. Then it’ll be Workout time. Then it’ll be TV watching time.
Anyway … Wwww WHAT? The only thing you can modify for free on WordPress is the Header? That would be like 1 peanut above Vivaldi. It wouldn’t even be worth going there. Especially given that the Emoticon-inserting situation isn’t very good there at all.
I don’t know. I could have sworn that in at least one of Teresa’s many Blog Design experiments on WordPress, she did have a Background. And I’m sure she’s not going the PAY route. But, who knows? It’s possible I could be remembering incorrectly regarding the Background. And I can’t even ask her right now. She has not been on Vivaldi in quite a while. Heck, NO ONE has been here in quite a while that we could ask.
Do you have Teresa’s email? I see most of the old MyOpera gang on FB. I do not know if she is one of them though. It IS possible you can use customized background. I’ve only visited the wordpress blog of the link I provided.
I’ve got to return to work in the morning. After three days off, it’s going to be HARD!
Hope you had a great time at your get together for Easter with your family.
Yes, I do have Teresa’s Non-Vivaldi E-mail Address … actual 3 of them. So yeah, IF it was absolutely necessary, I COULD contact her that way. But, I figure if she’s staying away from Vivaldi, there must be a reason. For starters, there’s the extremely bad situation in Venezuela. I’m sure that’s a factor in the equation. And she could be busy. And maybe like us, she too is disillusioned with Vivaldi and just can’t muster up desire to come and hang out here remotely more often like in the MyOpera days.
I don’t want to pester her with trivial issues right now. I figure when she’s ready to return to roaming around here on Vivaldi, I’ll see her then.
I did have a [img]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-k6x9i3mfA7Y/UnwQXuetp0I/AAAAAAAAAPs/97n1LXEt8NA/s1600/ThumbsUp.gif[/img] Easter. And hope you had one as well, Annette.
Dewi said she went back to Blogging on BlogSpot. She’s had difficulty logging in here at Vivaldi since pretty early on. She brought up the issue … or maybe I brought it up for her to the Vivaldi Team. They did look into it and did something or suggested something to Dewi. But, as you can probably guess, the problem just wasn’t fixed. So, rather than endure perpetual headaches trying to log in here to Vivaldi, she went back to BlogSpot.
She mentioned a — NetLog Blogging Community. I know nothing about that. I had never heard of it. I guess I’ll see what it’s about.
Well, at least if she’s blogging on BlogSpot, you know she is ok.
I have no problem logging in here, but it does not keep me logged in. It did in the beginning. All I had to do then was click on the Vivaldi link in my Favorites and I was already signed in. Now, every time I restart my computer, and want to come here, I have to sign in.
You have to remember … Dewi Blogs via MOBILE. So that no doubt is a factor in whatever logging in issue she’s having. I just remembered this very instant that she was apparently being prompted to type in the dreaded / HATED [b]CAPTCHA[/b]. I can’t remember though if that was the only problem or just part of the problem. I vaguely recall that I THINK Debbie from Vivaldi suggested she try something to rectify the problem, but I guess it didn’t work.
I know that at BlogSpot the Default setting is to be prompted with the CAPTCHA on Comments, but of course we know how to neutralize that. However, I have not heard of anyone else besides Dewi getting prompted with the CAPTCHA on Log In or ANYWHERE for that matter on [b]Vivaldi[/b]. But, if she says she’s getting prompted with it, then she must be. And we all know how infuriating and demoralizing CAPTCHA prompts are when we can’t get them out of our face.
I guess her problem could be a combination of factors:
Her using Mobile … the OS of her Mobile … the Browser of her Mobile, Etc.
BTW … as of about an hour ago, I am trying out [b]Opera 20.0.1387.91[/b].
I had been using Opera 12.16 there for a couple of days. As much as I try and TRY to like it and find reason to declare it my new Browser of Choice … it just keeps radiating subtle / semi-intangible things that just get under my skin or just bug me some way or another.
Do me a favor, Annette. Can you send me ohhh say … 4 quick, brief separate PMs?
Just something like: Blah Blah Blah PM #1 … Blah Blah Blah PM #2, Etc.
I want to test something. While the jury is still out until I get your PMs, so far, right now it LOOKs like MAYBE the [b]Text Looking Like Crap[/b] problems that manifested themselves on my Opera 11.64 after the Vivaldi Update … might NOT be present with this Opera 20.0.1387.91.
The quickest way to tell is in the RED Indicators with WHITE Numbers for the Friend Requests and Conversation (PM) Notifications. After the Vivaldi Update, those look like Crap on Opera 11.64.
Of course, if your PMs prove that those Text Looking Like Crap issues don’t exist with Opera 20.0.1387.91, the question then arises — WHY did they surface on Opera 11.64 AFTER the Vivaldi Update when they didn’t exist before?
Sending PMs now.
Mucho Super Thankos for the favor, Annette. [img]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-GXP1DE6M_m4/Unuo6h9yVpI/AAAAAAAAAEo/tNEtW7ogVRE/s1600/HighFive.gif[/img]
The 4 PMs did provide the data for my experiment.
By looking at the Conversations (PMs) Notifications numbers with Opera 20.0.1387.91, I determined that they looked better than what displays with Opera 11.64 after the Vivaldi Update. After the Vivaldi Update, it’s as if with Opera 11.64 now those numbers’ fonts were changed and they have been [b]Bolded[/b] … and the end result is a [b]rough MESS[/b]. Not only there, but also in various instances of Usernames, like on PMs.
With Opera 20.0.1387.91 those numbers don’t have that other font and they haven’t been Bolded.
Oh BTW … I think I may have just found my NEW undisputed Favorite Browser of Choice.
Yep, this NEW [b]Opera 20.0.1387.91[/b].
I had tried Opera 16 … Opera 18 … and even an earlier version of Opera 20, but they had not worked to my liking. However, so far this Opera 20.0.1387.91 appears to be getting pretty freakin’ close winning me over. Like with most anything, it has Pros & Cons. But, in this case, the Pros appear to definitely outweigh the Cons. And there are a couple of HUGE Pros.
The BIGGEST of the Pros is sooooo HUGE that it has me excited like I hadn’t been since I discovered Opera Browser back in the Opera 9.27 days. [img]http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-hiQ9gLgZMyk/UnwTu75YQ4I/AAAAAAAAAQ8/UCeAkTi_sls/s1600/Yahoo.gif[/img] Ahhh yes, Opera 9.27, the Elvis, the Chuck Norris of ALL Opera versions.
What is this HUGE Pro of which I am talking?
With Opera 11.52 and Opera 11.64, it took at least [b]5 minutes[/b] just to get to the Vivaldi Log In page after every Browser restart. Pathetic! [img]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dgtXUXt2_jk/UnwQG0fp1aI/AAAAAAAAAPk/bdWm_fDZG10/s1600/ThumbDown.gif[/img] The much-hyped Opera 12.16 actually tended to do worse at 6 minutes-ish. With Firefox, I’d be lucky to even achieve that. [img]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/–9ySJk6JJp4/UnwD_qo6riI/AAAAAAAAALQ/8d7UDDjwSSw/s1600/Insane.gif[/img] As to Chrome? Chrome wasn’t even in the game. Chrome has never even worked on my systems.
Well, with this NEW Opera 20.0.1387.91 … after Vivaldi has already been brought up once and is in the Browser Cache … it takes only around[b] 27 SECONDS[/b] to get to the Vivaldi Log In window after Browser restarts! [img]http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6fKvHMuCALU/Unv6KR0A2KI/AAAAAAAAAHA/seBhSrXzeXE/s1600/Big+Eyes.gif[/img] That is a HUGE change! That is like going from 55 MPH to Warp Factor 10! [img]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3sOZ7VBP9Ic/UnwPWX9ch9I/AAAAAAAAAPM/7Fp-hbx4Zhs/s1600/Spock.gif[/img]
And in general, likewise with all the other sites I use, [i]once they’ve been brought up once and are in the Browser Cache[/i], there is a definitely noticeable Bring Up Speed INCREASE like I had never seen before.
Since wayyy back in the Opera 9.27 days, after every new Opera version that came out and touted huge speed increases, I really wouldn’t notice SQUAT. They all pretty much ran at the same speed. But, this Opera 20.0.1387.91 is doing some serious SPEED Butt Kicking on any and EVERY Browser that I’ve used before! [img]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Lm_ryCecwV4/UnupSl6gLKI/AAAAAAAAAEw/Xwjpo3nxAPE/s1600/Mischief+&+Muscles.gif[/img] [img]http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6WduYsACeF4/UnvB8YrnzLI/AAAAAAAAAFw/SUVr4Zd5nEA/s1600/Pulp+Fic+Dance.gif[/img]
It’s interesting that the NEW WebKit (Chrome) based Opera has been dragged through the mud by legions of people as being just “Chrome with an Opera Skin.” Well, I’m gonna have to vouch that that is NOT true. Because as I pointed out before, Chrome doesn’t even work on my systems. And this Opera 20 is definitely working very well … so far.
As to the Cons on this Opera 20.0.1387.91?
There are 2 major Cons, but I’ve already sort of found a workaround around one of them.
(1) [b]No NOTES[/b] function / capability like Opera Browser has had.
I already installed a NOTES Extension to give me a level of Notes capability. [img]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-k6x9i3mfA7Y/UnwQXuetp0I/AAAAAAAAAPs/97n1LXEt8NA/s1600/ThumbsUp.gif[/img]
(2) [b]No Bookmarks[/b] capability like Opera Browser had up to Opera 12.16.
Well, it actually does have a Bookmarks Bar where you can put up some Bookmarks … probably a limited amount though. Then there is the Stash where you can stash some more of your Favorites. And there is the Speed Dial. But … there just isn’t that full-blown TRUE Bookmarks capability where you can bookmark tons of URLs to your heart’s content until the cows come home and beyond. I’m probably going to install a Bookmarks extension. I just have to evaluate and / or ask about these 3 or so that I have seen.
Another Con … I sure miss the Extended Progress Bar that I have always loved and depended on on my Opera Browser all this time. Anytime something is loading, I can see in detail what kind of speed the transmission of data actually has. Not the mystery NON-detailed indication of progress that all other Browsers have whereby you can’t tell what kind of actual speed the transmission of data is taking place at.
Yadi Yadi Yada … given the awesome Pros, I guess I can learn to live with the Cons.